LOST OCTS - Blog


Jul 24, 2056 I don't think I can trust anyone in this group anymore. I'm not sure if the things I've been made to believe are genuine or not, but I rather be wrong than a fool who took it laying down. And what a betrayal of my trust! By people who ensured it to me! I'm not even safe writing here in exacts anymore. I think that's the worst part. Not only do I have to be vague in real life, but now I have to be vague here too. I can't look Ripley in the face. I rather sit here and rot. I'm so upset about that I'm probably too fucking exhausted to work with Sam more. I'll try to get my ass downstairs later, especially if people keep lingering in here. Maybe I should move down to the medbay for good and move in with Jason under the table. I know I felt bad for him earlier about it, but my instincts are telling me that's a safe place to nap right now. A lot of my problem is going to be burning bridges. Everyone knows I'm on edge and something isn't quite right. At least I can direct my anger where it actually belongs now, instead of being skeptical of everybody. Knowing who I'm dealing with, I probably won't get an apology either, even if things do smooth over. What's worse is that they won't understand where this is coming from. Maybe Ripley would, after she thought about it. She'd be mad at me at first. I think Ripley's the one person I'm worried about upsetting the most out of this, but I'm sure she'd... at least get where I'm coming from. I've told her about all this, after all. Kamabo did horrible things to my brain, the same way they did horrible things to everyone else's brain. I thought... I thought Stripes was a hallucination. He couldn't have been real. He shouldn't have been real. But Lockpyck came over and I realized then that I wasn't making him up. I've gotta split pretty quickly here, so I can't spare as many details as I'd like about why I'm thinking like this and why this is absolutely terrible and why I feel fucking devastated. Kamabo ruined me. I hate that it still has its fangs in me.	Navigation - Home - Archive - Guestbook - More

Jul 24, 2056

I don't think I can trust anyone in this group anymore.

I'm not sure if the things I've been made to believe are genuine or not, but I rather be wrong than a fool who took it laying down.
And what a betrayal of my trust! By people who ensured it to me! I'm not even safe writing here in exacts anymore. I think that's the worst part. Not only do I have to be vague in real life, but now I have to be vague here too.

I can't look Ripley in the face. I rather sit here and rot.
I'm so upset about that I'm probably too fucking exhausted to work with Sam more. I'll try to get my ass downstairs later, especially if people keep lingering in here.
Maybe I should move down to the medbay for good and move in with Jason under the table. I know I felt bad for him earlier about it, but my instincts are telling me that's a safe place to nap right now.

A lot of my problem is going to be burning bridges. Everyone knows I'm on edge and something isn't quite right. At least I can direct my anger where it actually belongs now, instead of being skeptical of everybody.
Knowing who I'm dealing with, I probably won't get an apology either, even if things do smooth over.

What's worse is that they won't understand where this is coming from. Maybe Ripley would, after she thought about it. She'd be mad at me at first. I think Ripley's the one person I'm worried about upsetting the most out of this, but I'm sure she'd... at least get where I'm coming from. I've told her about all this, after all.
Kamabo did horrible things to my brain, the same way they did horrible things to everyone else's brain. I thought... I thought Stripes was a hallucination. He couldn't have been real. He shouldn't have been real. But Lockpyck came over and I realized then that I wasn't making him up.

I've gotta split pretty quickly here, so I can't spare as many details as I'd like about why I'm thinking like this and why this is absolutely terrible and why I feel fucking devastated.

Kamabo ruined me. I hate that it still has its fangs in me.

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